On the Lighter Side:
Simple Science

The following are some student responses to science test questions written by fifth- and sixth-graders. We share them here in the spirit of fun. We don't, however, vouch for their validity!

• The law of gravity says no fair jumping up without coming back down

   

• You can listen to thunder and tell how close you came to getting hit.
  If you don't hear it, you got hit, so never mind.

   

• A vibration is a motion that cannot make up its mind which way it wants to go.

   

• There are 26 vitamins in all, yet some of the letters are yet to be discovered.

   

• There is a tremendous weight pushing down on the center of the Earth because so many people are stomping around up there these days.

   

• Genetics explains why you look like your father, and if you don't, why you should.

   

• Vacuums are nothings. We only mention them to let them know we know they're there.

   

• The cause of perfume disappearing is evaporation. Evaporation gets blamed for a lot of things people forget to put the top on.

   

• I'm not sure how clouds are formed, but clouds know how to do it, and that's the important thing.

   

• Water vapor gets together in a cloud. When it is big enough to be called a drop, it does.

   

• Rain is saved up in cloud banks.

   

• It is so hot in some places that people there have to live in other places.

   

• Mushrooms always grow in damp places, which is why they look like umbrellas.

   

• Momentum is something you give a person when they go away.

   

• A monsoon is a French gentleman.

   

• To keep milk from turning sour, keep it in the cow.

   

• Some people can tell what time it is by looking at the sun, but I have never been able to make out the numbers.

   

• When planets run around and around in circles, we say they are orbiting. When people do it, we say they are crazy.

   

• In some rocks, you can find the fossil footprints of fishes.

   

• For asphyxiation, apply artificial respiration until the patient is dead.

   

• Blood circulates through the body by flowing down one leg and up the other.

   

• Thunder is a rich source of loudness.

   

• The four seasons are salt, pepper, mustard, and vinegar.

   

• The inhabitants of Moscow are called Mosquitoes.

   

• A census taker is a man who goes from house to house increasing the population.

   

• A city purifies its water supply by filtering the water and then forcing it through an aviator.

   

• The spinal column is a long bunch of bones. The head sits on top, and you sit on the bottom.

Article by Gary Hopkins
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