Say More With Less: Avoiding Redundant Writing

Grade Level: Grades 6-8
Subject: English Language Arts
Duration: 60 Minutes

Objective:

By the end of this lesson, students will:

• Recognize redundant words and phrases in writing.

• Revise sentences to be more concise while preserving meaning.

• Apply concise writing strategies to their own work.

Materials Needed:

• A few example sentences demonstrating redundancy (written on the whiteboard).

• A whiteboard or chart paper for group brainstorming.

• Markers.

Lesson Plan Outline:

1. Engagement Activity: Too Many Words! (10 Minutes)

Do: Start by writing a long, redundant sentence on the board:

"I woke up early in the morning at 6 AM to get up and rise out of bed so I could go and head to school."

Ask: "Does this sentence sound natural? Could we say it in a shorter way without losing meaning?"

Encourage students to point out words that repeat the same idea (e.g., "early in the morning", "get up and rise out of bed", "go and head to school").

Say: "Good observations! This sentence is longer than it needs to be. A clearer version would be:"

Do: Write the revised version on the board:
"I woke up at 6 AM to go to school."

Ask: "How is this better?" Lead a brief discussion about how the sentence is now more direct while keeping the same meaning.

Say: "Sometimes, we use extra words without realizing it. Today, we’re going to learn how to avoid redundant writing and make our sentences stronger and clearer."

2. Instruction and Demonstration: Spotting Redundancy (15 Minutes)

Say: "Redundancy happens when we use words that repeat the same idea. This makes our writing less effective."

Do: Write the following redundant phrases on the board and discuss how to shorten them:

• "Close proximity" → (Close or nearby)

• "Unexpected surprise" → (Surprise)

• "Absolutely essential" → (Essential)

• "End result" → (Result)

• "Free gift" → (Gift)

Ask: "Why do we sometimes use extra words in our writing?"

Say: "Good points! But using too many words can actually make writing weaker instead of stronger. Now, let’s look at some full sentences and see how we can improve them."

Do: Write the following sentence on the board: "She smiled happily because she was feeling very joyful and happy." Ask students to help revise it to be more concise. A possible revision could be:
"She smiled because she was happy."

Ask: "How does this version sound compared to the original? What did we remove?" Discuss how unnecessary words were eliminated without changing the meaning.

3. Guided Practice: Fixing Redundant Sentences (15 Minutes)

Do: Write three redundant sentences on the board and have students work in pairs or small groups to rewrite them concisely.

Example sentences:

1. "The students gathered together as a group to discuss their ideas and thoughts."

2. "He made a final decision at the end of the day after thinking about it for a long time."

3. "She ran quickly at a fast speed to catch the bus that was leaving."

Say: "Work with your partner to make these sentences more concise. Think about which words are unnecessary."

Do: Give students a few minutes to discuss and rewrite the sentences. Then, ask each group to share their revisions and discuss why their changes improve the sentence.

Say: "Notice how the shorter sentences still make perfect sense. Removing extra words makes writing more powerful!"

4. Independent Practice: Concise Writing Challenge (20 Minutes)

Do: Ask students to write a short paragraph (4-5 sentences) about their favorite hobby. The challenge: They must write concisely, avoiding redundancy.

Say: "Think about something you enjoy doing—playing a sport, reading, drawing, or any hobby. Write a short paragraph explaining why you enjoy it. But be mindful of redundant words—make every word count!"

Give students 10 minutes to write.

Do: After they finish, have them trade paragraphs with a partner. Partners should suggest a more concise way to rewrite the sentences.

Say: "Now, switch papers and help your partner spot extra words. Can you make their sentences even stronger?"

Do: After they revise, ask for volunteers to read their improved paragraphs aloud.

5. Reflection and Wrap-Up: Less is More (5 Minutes)

Say: "Writing is strongest when every word serves a purpose. Whether you're writing essays, emails, or even text messages, learning to be concise makes your ideas clearer and more effective."

Do: As a final activity, challenge students to think of a text message they might send to a friend and shorten it while keeping the same meaning.

Example:

• Original: "Hey, do you want to come over to my house later this afternoon so we can hang out and play video games together?"

• Concise: "Want to come over and play games later?"

Written by Rachel Jones
Education World Contributor
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