Discovered:  Professor Teachington's Rules to Snowe Days

Snow days.  We tend to have mixed feelings about them.  Sometimes a day to catch up on grading and get ahead with lessons is an absolute gift.  At the same time, very few educators want to miss even a single day in the classroom.  Little did we know, we've been using this time the wrong way altogether!

Exciting news!  Education World staffers have recently uncovered an early text dictating the rules and expectations placed upon educators when school is canceled in the winter months due to inclement weather.  Written by Professor Teachington (dating back to some point in the mid 17th century), the document outlines a strict code of discipline and ethics, and historians believe it to be the premier snow day reference for the modern educator.  Professor Teachington’s “Rules to Snowe Days” is transcribed below:

I.  Upon formal notification of thy school’s cancelation (either by messenger bird or courier), thou must engage in the vigour of the “snowe day dance”.  Many variations of this ancient jig art known, yet must be of the most flagrant and boastful nature.  Intense body gyration and pumping of the fist art encouraged.

Image courtesy of 20th Century Fox Television.

II. Retiring from the above jubilation, ‘tis expected - nay, mandatory - that ye post a braggart’s status update to thy “Book of Face,” purposefully incurring the green-eyed wrath of thy “non-teacher” acquaintances. 

Image courtesy of Tumblr.

III.  All well and done, thou must fall into the deepest slumber, only waking well past the sun’s zenith.  Waking before this hour debases the entyre institution of snowe day etiquette.

Image courtesy of Walt Disney Domestic Television Distribution.

IV.  The processed and heated bean of the cacao must be imbibed before the day’s sun comes to rest.  Antonio Colmenero de Ledesma’s “A Curious Treatise of the Nature and Quality of Chocolate” recommends for reference:

• 100 cacao beans

• 2 chiles (black pepper may be substituted)

• A handful of anise

• Ear flower

• 1 vanilla pod

• 2 ounces cinnamon

• 12 almonds or hazelnuts

• Pound sugar

• Achiote (annatto seeds) to taste

           Boil together and froth with a molinillo.

V.  Even if thou art inclined to do so, all work and toils of labour are strictly forbidden.  Young and agéd teachers alike hast the following two choices:

• Tarry away the day, playing in the snowe like a wee tyke, despite onlookers.

• Dally away the day, ensconced in the blankets of thy bed, to binge upon ye Netflixe.

Image courtesy of hercampus.com.

Educators all, followe these above simple directives, instituted on this day by Professor J. Edward Teachington III of the Institute of Higher Learning, under penalty of law.

There you have it, folks.  Clarification at last from the teachers of the past!  Enjoy those snow days the way they were meant to be enjoyed!  Stay warm, be safe, and most importantly:  have fun!

Written by Keith Lambert, Education World Contributor

Lambert is an English / Language Arts teacher and teacher trainer in Connecticut.