Shaundalyn Elliott's Diary
The First 180 Days
Shaundalyn Elliott, a recent college graduate, always dreamed of being a corporate lawyer. Her deep feelings of responsibility to the minority students in her hometown led her instead to a teaching position at her alma mater, an urban middle school in Montgomery, Alabama. Each week during this school year -- Shaundalyn's first year in the classroom -- she will share with Education World readers her thoughts and feelings about her first 180 days!
The Final Chapter
Week 36
Life has a funny way of changing people. I learned that this year.
The first week of school was probably one of the most difficult times in my life. I could not imagine making it through the end of the year. I regretted spending four years of college majoring in education. Some days, the very sight of my students angered me. I constantly asked myself why I had chosen to waste my life, time, and talent on teaching young adults who clearly felt I had nothing to offer them.
As the year progressed, my feelings slowly began to change. As the children's needs became more important, my own needs became less important. I began to understand (and fear!) the truth of warnings from veteran teachers that teaching was addictive. Despite my efforts, however, I was unable to suppress the strong feelings for my students that were developing -- or to hide the happiness I felt with them and with my job. When the winter holidays rolled around, I even threw an elaborate party, complete with food and music. I wanted the children to remember our time together as much as I would.
By the beginning of the second semester, I was much more comfortable with my decision to teach. The students were more relaxed with me. I can recall several lessons through which the students and I laughed. By the time the students returned from spring break, I fully realized how much time I had wasted complaining about my duties as a teacher, and I began to regret every minute I had spent wishing for the end of the year to arrive.
Now, during this final week of school, I find myself wishing I had more time with them. I know it will be very difficult to restrain myself emotionally when that final day arrives. Some students have begun to give me going-away presents. Although I try not to show them how much this means to me, my efforts are generally in vain. The students know how much I love them; my feelings are obvious in every one of my actions -- from my screams of discipline to my participation in their extracurricular activities. Everyone who knows me knows how much I love my students.
I have enjoyed working with these extraordinary individuals and becoming familiar with their different personalities. Interacting with them has helped me develop my sense of humor and maintain my sanity. Now I understand how men and women all over the world remain in this profession for decades! Teaching is one of the few jobs that can provide such a tremendous sense of accomplishment and completion.
In my opinion, there are no textbooks that can accurately prepare a new teacher for what lies ahead. This is one of those professions in which experience is truly the best teacher.
I would like to thank everyone who supported and prayed for me throughout this crucial year. You'll never know how much your thoughts and actions have meant to me! I'd also like to express my thanks to Education World for giving me the opportunity to share my experiences with the world. This has not been the easiest job I have ever done, but it is certainly one of the very best. As I prepare to close this chapter of my life, I anxiously await the next one opening in August!
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Shaundalyn Elliot
Education World®
Copyright © 2000 Education World
05/31/2001
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