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Eric Baylin's
Songs to Brighten
A Teacher's Day


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This song also might be called The Litany of Excuses. Youve probably heard them all through the years, from one student or another. The gaps in their logic, though, often seem a lot like the proverbial bucket with a hole: No matter how sincere the excuse, it never seems to hold much water.

Theres a Hole In Their Thinking

(Sung to the tune of Theres a Hole in the Bucket)

You know the student who has excuse after excuse for the homework thats missing. I did it. I really did. I just left it at home. And the student whos brought in homework thats clearly been chewed: Youll never believe this, but my dog actually did eat it. It does happen, of course, but more often than not, youre simply listening to a students creative powers of excuse-making.


About the Lyricist

Eric Baylin has been a teacher for 38 years, working with a variety of age levels in both public and private schools in New York and North Carolina. He currently works at Packer Collegiate Institute in Brooklyn, New York, a K-12 independent school established in 1854. In addition to teaching art and photography to middle- and high-school students, Eric coordinates a program of collaborative faculty study groups in Packer's professional development program.

Theres a hole in your thinking, dear student, dear student,
A hole in your thinking, dear student, a hole.

Well, I dont get your meaning, dear teacher, dear teacher.
I dont get your meaning, dear teacher, I dont.

Well, I gave you some homework, dear student, dear student.
Its well overdue now, dear student, it is.

But my grandmothers ailing, dear teacher, dear teacher.
My grandmothers ailing, dear teacher, she is.

Did you bring me a note from your mother, dear student?
A note from your mother, dear student, would do.

Well, my mothers away with my ailing grandmother.
My mothers too busy to write you right now.

Well, your father could write me that letter, dear student.
Your father could write me, dear student, he could.

But my father is traveling in China, dear teacher.
My father is traveling in China, he is.

Well, you have til tomorrow to bring the assignment.
You have til tomorrow to do it, you do.

Well, tomorrow is here and I did it, dear teacher.
I did the assignment, but left it at home.

Well, you have til the end of the day still to bring it.
You have til the end of the day, then no more.

Well, this time I brought it, dear teacher, dear teacher.
I brought it and put it inside your mailbox.

Well, I looked in my mailbox and I could not find it.
I looked in my mailbox and it was not there.

Ill check in my backpack, dear teacher, dear teacher.
Ill just be a minute; oh, look here it is.

But its all crumpled up and I barely can read it.
Its all crumpled up with no sign of your name.

Well, Ill sign my name on it, dear teacher, dear teacher.
Ill sign my name; now can we say that its done?

Well, I checked your work over, dear student, dear student.
Theres only one problem and heres what it is.

But I answered the questions, dear teacher, dear teacher.
I answered the questions; I answered them all.

Yes, you answered completely, dear student, dear student,
But all of your answers are just like your friends!

Well, I dont know how that could have possibly happened.
We must think alike cause were very good friends.

Theres a hole in your thinking, dear student, dear student;
A hole in your thinking, dear student, a hole.

Song lyrics Copyright© 2007 Eric Baylin