Bullying is a serious and pervasive problem in our schools. Surveys indicate that 15 to 20 percent of children are bullied in school at some point. For those who are the targets of bullying, the incidents can be the most painful experiences of childhood, often leaving lasting scars. Victims can experience anxiety, fear, and even depression for years to come.
Bullying also can affect those students who witness the incidents -- the bystanders. Bullying can give rise to a climate of fear and anxiety in a school, distracting students from their schoolwork and impeding their ability to learn. Students who witness their classmates being victimized wonder, “Am I going to be next?” The possibility of being bullied can cause students to live in a state of fear, focusing on little else. That isn’t surprising when you consider that children who were surveyed rated bullying the second worst experience of childhood -- second only to the death of a loved one.
Despite the pervasiveness and potential seriousness of bullying, it is a problem that often escapes detection by teachers. One study found that only four percent of bullying episodes were observed by school staff. Even when teachers are made aware of bullying, they sometimes turn a blind eye. They might view it as a harmless rite of passage that is best ignored. The reality, however, is that bullying is not harmless and it must not be ignored.
It is critical that teachers be on the lookout for signs of bullying. Although teachers might not actually witness a bullying incident (bullies are very adept at tormenting their victims outside the presence of adults), they should see the results of the bullying. A child who is bullied might show any or all of the following characteristics:
anxiety in class.
frequent visits to the school nurse.
a decline in academic performance.
unusual sadness or withdrawal from peers.
unexplained bruises.
This column describes strategies teachers can use to deal with bullying in
the classroom. If schools are to make real headway preventing incidents
of bullying, however, the strategies need to be part of a school-wide
anti-bullying campaign that has the commitment of staff, students, and
parents.
Dr. Ken Shore, with National Professional Resources, has
just released a 4-video series on bullying that offers a comprehensive
bullying prevention program. This program includes separate
videos for principals, teachers, para-professionals, and parents,
as well as an accompanying book. For further information on
the program, see The
ABCs of Bullying Prevention.
Act immediately if you observe or hear of bullying taking place. Don’t let it continue on the assumption that children need to learn to stand up for themselves. Bullies are often bigger and stronger than their victims, who often lack the physical ability or verbal skills to adequately defend themselves. Allowing bullying to continue might result in the bullied child being hurt physically or psychologically.
Talk
privately with the bully. Give the bully an opportunity to explain
her behavior, but expect her to downplay her actions or place the blame
on the victim. If you are confident that she was engaging in bullying,
let her know that further incidents will not be tolerated. Tell her that
you and other staff will be monitoring her behavior very closely and disciplinary
action, including notifying her parents, will be taken if another incident
occurs. (Or you might decide that the incident warrants disciplinary action
rather than just a warning.) After putting the bully on notice, try to
elicit her cooperation. Tell her you don't believe she really wants to
hurt another child and ask for her ideas about resolving the problem.
You might find that a sympathetic approach elicits kinder and gentler
behavior. Bullies bully for a reason -- to gain status with or power over
peers, to punish a child they are angry at or jealous of, to vent frustration
with problems at home or in school. Try to identify what is behind the
bullying and provide appropriate support.
Keep
in mind that the purpose of disciplining the bully is to deter her aggressive
actions not to humiliate or embarrass her. Insist that the bully return
any items she has taken from the victim. You also might want to exclude
the bully from places or activities where she has harassed other students,
remove classroom privileges, or give her detention. Notify her parents
immediately of what she has done and ask that they have a serious talk
with their child about her behavior. You might want to consider having
the parents in for a conference. Solicit their support for the steps you
are taking in school. The principal also might decide the incident is
serious enough that it warrants a suspension from school. On the day of
the student’s return to school, she might be required to come in with
her parents and sign a contract in which she agrees not to engage in any
further bullying behavior. The contract should define the prohibited behaviors
in a specific manner and set out consequences if she does not abide by
the contract.
Don’t
neglect the victim. Just as the bully warrants your attention, so does
the victim. Ask her what happened and listen sympathetically and attentively.
Let her know that she is not to blame for the bullying. Encourage her to
tell you of other incidents and reassure her that you will make every possible
effort to stop it. You also might want to help her learn how to be assertive
with bullies without being aggressive. Try role-playing, suggesting what
she might do or say during a bullying incident to project a greater air
of confidence. Make sure the student knows that she should not respond physically,
however. Retaliation only escalates a bully's aggression. You might want
to inform the victim's parents what happened and what actions you have taken.
(Let the child know you will be doing that.) Give the student frequent pats
on the back to boost her confidence and increase her feelings of comfort.
Talk with her periodically to ask if the problem is continuing; if so, take
action.
Survey
the class about bullying. The results of an anonymous survey might
help you gauge the extent and types of bullying taking place, as well
as the places where it is occurring. Of course, that also can be done
on a school-wide basis, and serve as a benchmark to assess the impact
of any programs intended to lessen the occurrence of bullying.
Hold
a class meeting to discuss bullying. With younger students, you might
want to begin by reading a story suited to their age, such as The
Berenstain Bears and the Bully. Make it clear that bullying other
children is a serious matter and that it will not be allowed in your classroom.
Talk with students about what bullying is; give examples of bullying and
ask for examples from students. Consider writing their ideas on the chalkboard.
Discuss how children who are bullied might feel; write those ideas on
the board as well. Ask if any students want to share their experiences
of being bullied, but do not let them talk about specific students. Ask
students what they might do if they see another student being bullied.
Encourage them to either take action to stop the bullying or report it
to an adult.
Pay
attention to students who are isolated from their peers. Isolated
students are the most likely targets for bullies. Help those students
become involved with their peers by arranging for friendly and accepting
students to invite them to join in classroom or playground activities.
You also might arrange for students who are loners to engage in activities
together. Those students might need your help to learn what to say and
do when interacting with peers. They might not know what to say to initiate
an activity with a classmate or to join an ongoing activity.
Encourage
children to be kind to one another. Praise children who act in a kind
or sensitive way to classmates. You also might recognize children who
display those behaviors by giving certificates or rewards at school assemblies.
You can promote the kinder and gentler side of students by offering them
opportunities to help others. Perhaps the most important step you can
take to help children treat one another respectfully is to model that
behavior in your own interactions with your students. That means avoiding
the use of sarcasm or putdowns, for example.
Advocate
for your school to develop an anti-bullying policy. Talk with your
principal about putting an anti-bullying policy in place or bring up the
topic at a staff meeting. The policy should specifically define what constitutes
bullying, describe its impact on individuals, discuss ways of preventing
bullying, and list a graduated series of consequences for those who continue
to bully others.
Don’t
neglect the victim. Just as the bully warrants your attention, so does
the victim. Ask her what happened and listen sympathetically and attentively.
Let her know that she is not to blame for the bullying. Encourage her to
tell you of other incidents and reassure her that you will make every possible
effort to stop it. You also might want to help her learn how to be assertive
with bullies without being aggressive. Try role-playing, suggesting what
she might do or say during a bullying incident to project a greater air
of confidence. Make sure the student knows that she should not respond physically,
however. Retaliation only escalates a bully's aggression. You might want
to inform the victim's parents what happened and what actions you have taken.
(Let the child know you will be doing that.) Give the student frequent pats
on the back to boost her confidence and increase her feelings of comfort.
Talk with her periodically to ask if the problem is continuing; if so, take
action. 
